Continue: On School and Schooling

As the days go on, and I can't keep up the studying, nothing changes and I get only more tired and frustrated about the whole thing. I can study, pull the plug, or just keep hanging on and see what happens but it doesn't look so bright if I don't stand up and do something. I don't like this but it always comes down to this. I have to stand up and do something that I don't want to, but I have to do it and I don't know why. I am confused, tired and I don't like the situation I find myself in. I didn't put myself in this position, I found myself. I don't want to mess things up but I can't do stuff that I hate or not enjoy doing it's just not me. But here again, I bet I'm gonna be studying in less than a day or so and I'm gonna make it somehow across the border. I just wish that it didn't have to be like this. If everything was smoother, like if I could have more fun down here on earth because it is just that I don't enjoy my life as much as I want to, studying, going to school, reading books, becoming an intellectual, these are all good but they consume all of my time and bore me out of my mind. It's not fair, I know the world isn't fair, but that's not fair neither. Maybe there is another way, to make everything great, without boring myself to death, or without me getting stressed out so bad. We will see on next week what will happen this week.